Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

So…I’ve been up to my usual tricks again and not spending enough time on here! It’s not that I’m not doing anything…and I still enjoy writing and reading other peoples blogs. It’s just that I’ve been doing a lot of other things that fall into the category of ‘must do’.

Things that, y’know, help to pay for things to eat ‘n’ shit like that. But don’t worry, I think I am on my way to finally being able to lay on a huge bed while throwing money up into the air in slow motion while cigar smoke fills the air and gangsta rap music shakes the walls.

(I should point out that the last sentence isn’t a reference to how I’m making money – I’m not the 21st Centuries answer to Mr. Nice)

So…What Am I Doing Here?

To put it simply, I am here because I want to be…but also because someone has nominted me for the Sunshine Blog Award (I really don’t deserve it). That someone is a very kind and funny blogger that goes under the name of The Travel Architect.

It’s a really funny and informative blog about ‘ONE WOMAN’S TRAVEL PLANNING OBSESSION’. Those are her exact words, and they’re in capital letters…I didn’t write them like that…I copy and pasted them from her site as I am a blogging wizard (although I still have yet to learn how to add a link to someone’s page without having the whole https// malarky! I also don’t seem to have spellcheck on here nowadays which is a truly horrific prospect for me and my general future.)

I’m massively late in repsonding to her nomination of me for this award and getting around to the answers to questions set by the nominator. I apologise to her again for being really, really unfocused on this blog of late.

Chicken Dinner.

No, I havent won a chicken bucket for this blog but I have the respect from a fellow blogger and as cheesey as that sounds, that’s enough for me. But as I mentioned a moment ago, each recipient of this award has to answer questions…so here we go.

You Wanted Answer…Well Here…Take This!

  1. Where do you land on the introvert – extrovert continuum?  How about the homebody – out-n’-about and the night owl – morning person continua?

I am an introverted extrovert (it’s a thing, look it up!). I think it basically means I want to show off but I’m scared of people actually seeing me or wanting to talk to me. It’s a bit confusing to say the least and possibly why I chose to hide behind a character when I was performing comedy.

2. If you could create one new law for your contry, what would it be?

For me, this is so easy and something that grinds my gears! If a politician lies about anything, their career is over and they face heavy punishment.

3. One of my favorite categories (to write about, not experience) on my blog is When Bad Things Happen to Good Travelers.  What W.B.T.H.t.G.T experience has befallen you?

I was once in the Frontiac Park in Canada with three friends when I was 16 years old (sounds like the start of a very scary movie). On this fateful night that no doubt books will be written about long after I’ve gone, we heard some big old grizzly bears sniffing around our tent. We thought we would be ok as we’d followed the advice and stored our food up a tree and away from the tent…that was until one of the friends I was with said, “Well…not all of the food is up the tree”, as he pulled out a packet of biscuits from inside his sleeping blanket. After all four of us froze for what seemed like minutes, the bears noses sniffing the air for the sweet, lovely sugar, we decided to unzip the tent door very slowly and throw the ‘bear crack’ as far as we could. This world record for the furthest a 16 year old has ever thrown a packet of biscuits was instantly followed by huge growls from the bears as they ran toward where the sacrificial biscuits had fallen (RIP biscuits). I keep thinking of writing a full blog/short story about this night as nearly 30 years later I can still see the outline of a bears giant snout pressed up against the canvas of our tent as he began to suspect we were storing some sugary goodness.

4. Knowing what you know now, if you could do it all over again, would you have the same job/career?  If not, what would it be?

I don’t really think I’ve ever thought of myself as having a ‘career’, I’ve just done things that means I can buy cake, but if I could start all over again, I would start stand up comedy much younger than I did. I would also have written more in my twenties.

5. Tell an interesting little tidbit or factoid about yourself that your readers probably wouldn’t know.

My Great-great-great-great grandfather was a pirate who smuggled alcohol into Portsmouth from France. I think it is from him that I inherited my limp and awful breath.

6. If you could eradicate one of the world’s many injustices with just the snap of your fingers, what would it be?

Joining a queue at a check-out only to see the other queue, you almost joined, begin to move.

7. A lot of bloggers like to write about their bucket list destinations.  Let’s do the opposite.  Thinking of places that generate lots of travel buzz, what’s one place that just doesn’t interest you?

Paris. Sorry, can’t be arsed. Don’t really have a good reason, just can’t be arsed. I’m sure the people of Paris will get over with this snub.

8. You’re given a surprise day off work (or whatever obligatory time-sucking activity fills your days) – money is not an issue, you’re not allowed to do chores or errands, and there are no family members around to care for or accommodate – just unadulterated free time.  How do you spend the day?

I’d start with an hour or so writing before heading to a coral reef with my girlfriend for a spot of snorkeling (it sounds athletic but I just wear a lifejacket and float face down in the water). Then I’d fly my friends in from all over the UK for a nice meal and a bit of banter as we eat pizza, som tam salad and chocolate cake while the sun goes down over the sea.

9. Would you rather time travel to the past or the future?  What time/place would you travel to?

The past. ANY bookmakers.

10. What parts of travel/travel planning (regular travel that is, not theoretical time travel) stress you out the most and how do you deal with them?

Choosing the right hotel. In order to deal with this horrific problem I ask my girlfriend which one she prefers camourflaging it as me being really kind in letting her pick.

11. Why did you start blogging?  What hasn’t gone well or lived up to your expectations?  Is there a post you’ve written and love that doesn’t get as much as attention as you’d like it to?

I mainly started blogging to improve my writing (not to improve my spelling as I’m sure you’ve noticed) and to hopefully make an interesting blog. I also thought it would be a good way for me to actually remember what I’ve done since moving to Thailand as I have what is known in the medical world as ‘a shit for brains’. It hasn’t gone as well as I’d hoped, I think my writing has improved but it’s done little to improve my focus…erm…is that a dog barking? I need to go and see so I’ll wrap this up now.

Thank you again to The Travel Architect, I really don’t deserve her support but you should really check out her blog especially the series about her being in the UK where she almost died while climbing Snowdonia – it’s hilarious!

Thank you for reading, I’ll be back soon – I PROMISE!

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Yes, the queue thing is a universal problem, in traffic too, not just stores. I like that you would eradicate it. That makes me happy.

    Can’t be arsed to go to Paris?!?! Comment pouvez-vous dire une chose pareille? Es-tu vraiment fou? Chaque centimètre carré de la France, y compris Paris, est comme un paradis. Un petit morceau de croissant et vous mangerez vos mots … et le reste du croissant !!!!!

    You’ve left me wondering how you did on tests in high school. I notice that answering all the parts of a multi-part question is something of a challenge for you. 😉

    1. All questions are a challenge to me 🤤🥴

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